My blogs are my personal thoughts from observations and experiences. I write from my own prospective, but also the prospective of my peers. I've been summons to deliver encouragement to the masses. My words are unadulterated, raw, deep, dealing with spiritual depths, love, relationships, struggles, flesh, evil, things we deal with while traveling on this journey..Enjoy my flow
Want to write free of thought.. Enjoy my creative flow..
What does love got to do with sheer passion, a simple touch on the face, a subtle kiss on the cheek when I know you wanted to place those luscious lips on my kissers.
What does love got to do with this alive feeling I feel every time you're near me, the way my heart beats to your sound, your gleaming eyes allures yet penetrates deep down inside the inner core of my vibrant nature. Will it sound too aggressive if I tell you " How bad I want you"?
How much I want to connect and watch our passionate nature collide. What does love have to do with me wanting to know what your thinking as you stare into my eyes, as you seductively undress my mind exposing my naked thoughts.
You've entered a private domain unknown by many, but you my sweet found the key and unlocked the secret chambers deep inside of me. What does love have to do with each moments our world interlock as we exchange waves of passion using our minds through cerebral love making you caught me off guard, I didn't know you were this good, I mean dang, I'm speechless you really put it on me like no one ever have before, I'm your muse craving more cerebral pleasure gasps for air as portraits of your words deliver a sound to powerful to comprehend.
What does love have to do with us engaging in rhetorical thoughts of what is versus what could be when you add me to everything you desire this connection to be, lets see,
Countless moments lost in a world of blissful thoughts without trying to figure out what's right or wrong, short or long, questions seems to loom around room this intensity is deep and strong, like jumping blindly off a cliff the power of words are my gift, simply because I have the power to lift one up and turn things around, just like the power of love and sound or the glee of once lost, but now found.
What does love have to do with a simple connection without directions we don't need protection, grab a pen and learn this lesson..
Enjoy the flow not focusing on how fast or slow, as long as we know we're in this moment to never forget unless we throw in the cards and quit, come here, and sit in the midst of my intensity as I walk you though how it would be when you're next to me... Hmmmm
What does love got to do with exchanging vibes, thoughts, and words, sharing what you know or heard, release all restrictions, while I petition for your attention need I mention how I changed the flow not a mistake or typo just so you know I like versatility though. It's never about how fast or slow as long as you let go all inhibitions and get the message hidden in each lesson of love, friendship all extended relations one rule of thumb is to always be patient.
What does love have to do with us being us doing what we do?
Who are you? I'm not talking about the person you want others to see, I'm talking the person no one sees. The Real "YOU" that's hidden from the world, the you that's afraid to come forth and be the person you we're created to be. Through-out your life you heard people tell you who you should be, who you look like, who you act like, how you should act, speak, and think, somewhere along the journey you adapt to their perception of you.
Your true identity was lost you then started acting out of character, behaving irrationally doing things solely to get attention, approval, love, and acceptance. You begin to see yourself through someone else eyes. Secretly coveting wishing you could live large and be recognized as a star, a celebrity because you think this is the way to happiness, freedom, and financial security.
DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? WAKE UP!
Some where down the line you discover your thoughts were faulty, the painted pictures were only delusions, a voice says, it's too late your in too deep (so u think) your actions begins to overpower your better judgement and you start operating from your sinful desires oppose to using sound wisdom and judgement you become lost in the matrix - detached from the truth..
Unable to find YOU the real you. After months, years of chasing a empty dream living off of sheer hope you find yourself trap doing detestable things living in the shadows within the dark places. The only way to cope is to smoke dope and stay intoxicated in order to deal with the choices you made. You hate what you see, but can't find strength to make changes.
Do you even know who you are anymore? Your thoughts are not your own, your actions imply your controlled state, you no longer operate within your own realm of understanding you're a puppet, their puppet. Chasing an empty dream thinking you will gain more when in reality you lost your very soul the true essence of your reality the "YOU" that separates you from others. Your just like the rest who chase fast money, fame, celeb status. but what do you truly gain when in the end you lose the most important aspect of life... Your freedom. Do you think this world really love you? Do you think you will obtain all they promised without the ultimate sacrifice?
Confusion becomes your best friend as you do things out of desperation and seeking a big come up, not realizing the longer you're separated from the REAL you the more danger your in. The only way to true freedom is to find the real you that's caught up in their matrix, the truth offers a way out, the truth offer hope and redemption.
The dangers in being trap in the matrix you risk losing your true identity forever, the longer you live in the darkness you lose sight the ability to reconnect with the real you... Darkness is your new found freedom, you can't run or hide, their watching you at all times, when you sleep they control you, your sleep is far from peaceful, you indulge in all sorts of cocktails to free your mind, for a moment you seem free, but then it happens the voices, the negative energy, the shadows, you can run but you can't hide. You let them in you thought it was just a thing, but know you realize it's too late... The Matrix is real the system has total control of your life... So what you gonna do now?
In closing ask yourself a few questions- Who am I? Am I living the truth or a lie, am I living in the light or trapped in the shadow of darkness? Do I know the price I must pay for the hasty decision I made simply from greed?
I see the distraction, I see the trap, yet I fall prey even when he sends warming of what's to come, like a fool I ignore the words of pending setback approaching ahead. When will I get it, when will I obey the subtle messages He sends in order to keep me focus and always aware of the adversary schemes to stop progression to stop moving and the shifting. At first I did't recognize it at first I thought it was just a thing you know not meaning much, but now I'm starting to see a pattern. The conversations are the same, it all leads to one road... The road I'm trying to avoid. The option to compromise my walk is always valid on their end, because it's a set up...
It's all designed to stop me and keep me from reaching my full potential, the obstacles before me are never ending and not without temptation, and setbacks. The plan is to get me stuck in a place where my desires are being met that I may forfeit the true nature of the attack and ignore my spiritual obligation and give solely into my flesh and do what ever pleases me without realizing there's a price for every act rendered the question is am I willing to pay a price for the desires of my flesh? Am I willing to to give in to my weakness for sinful pleasure? The battle doesn't stop the question is where does your true weakness lies? This is the area that must be buried.
I see it for what it is... My father's been to good to me for me to throw everything I work so hard to obtain just to wallow in desire, pleasure, lusts, glutton, what ever this flesh of mine demands for the day... I don't think it's a wise choice to obey something that is out of control and deny the very thing that helps me to stay in control... I got it... I see it...
Okay, this is my own private thoughts and my personal fight against wrong and right. Just because I believe, because I have faith, doesn't mean I won't be tempted, tried, tested... Oh yeah even more so. I'd realize you haven't truly overcome until you past the test, until your able to stop submitting the very thing that you think you need those most.
The adversary studied you, and me and knows what we need and desire MOST and when we verbally express our sincerest desire to walk the path of righteousness and do that right thing, here comes the Dark One, sending situations, people, things your way to slow you down. The longer you pause, enjoy, mingle, check it out the worst it is.
Lesson here, get stronger, learn your weakness and turn it over to God, ask Him to help you to overcome and pass this test, stop seeking and chasing after what the flesh wants. What we say and think is innocent it isn't actually its really dangerous, but a low-key danger. God has given me eyes to see, but I sometimes play with the fire just to see if it's truly hot. Igot to stop this game one day I will get burned the wrong way.
These tools the enemy uses to bring distractions into our life, they keep us in one place and while we're there we're not productive, we so focus on what the flesh is getting and until even doing things He require of us. We can't serve two masters it just don't work.. Distraction is a dangerous tool used against many of us believers today the adversary is working overtime to keep us from reaching our destiny and fulfilling our divine purpose. Let's wake up, let crucify the flesh and say NO to the Flesh and Distractions.
Remember when you going somewhere in your journey of life, you will be tried, your character must be perfected. You will be tested and your flesh will try to over power your will to do what's right. The fight is great you may not always win you may fail sometimes don't STOP keep pushing, keep going forward you must know we only have 1 chance to get it right, one chance to do the right thing, one chance to make a difference and it begins and ends with a choice.
Don't beat yourself up when you fall, pray for strength and keep moving, recognize the weakness and pull yourself away from that thing that was used to entrap you, it won't feel good, you will be miserable at first, cause the flesh seeks to satisfy it's self you will miss the love connection, the late night booty calls, loves session, what ever it is you do... Do something about it once it's brought to you. Peace, Love and God Blessing
I have a mission, a purpose, a reason for living on this earth. I have a right to voice my thoughts, my faith, my belief, my struggles, my joys, my revelations, my sadness, my happiness, the pains in my life... I give voice to the words that orchestrates change I give power to those things that so easily besets me by operating against the rules His rules. My Spirit is the big man yet my Flesh is the bigger man in my life. These two people are constantly at odds, at war with each other. (Galatians 5:17) The battle between the two started when I was little and didn't understand a thing about life, trials, tests, flesh, sin, desires, hate, lust, lies, the war that I was in.. I was blind so blind to the fact that I was born into a war zone without my consent. (Get ready, Get set, GO) I was sent to this place called Earth to complete a mission I knew nothing about. My opponents didn't play fair- I didn't know they even existed, but then it happened I realized my foes is also on a mission to stop and destroy me.. I had no clue on the training course I would have to complete before I was even aware of the fight I was in. My heart directed me and lead me to whom
I was destined to serve, but not until I was truly ready. I wasn't aware of the obstacles that would be placed in my life to make me or break me and it all begin and end with a choice. As I had to face the music and realize unless I was ready to see the truth and accept I was in a battle it was a lose, lose situation. I had to realize each choice, and action bore an equal reaction and came with a price. The choices of......
The choice of right or wrong, yes or no, to go or stay, to do or not. Choices developed me, my choices robbed me, my choices put me in bad predicament in which it took only "HIM" to bring me out.
I'd realized early on there were very little I had control over as a kid. I had no choice in the matter of my birth parents who my siblings were going to be, where I would live (neighborhood) I was a product of my environment. I was dealt a bad hand of cards, and they were low cards to be exact, I was force to play the hand set up in the beginning to fail, a hand dealt to cause me to lose, if I didn't play the cards right the game could end prematurely.. How might it be possible to win when everything in your life seem to work against you, designed to bring harm to you, the actions of others sabotaged every thought of happiness and brought rejection and discouragement.
Due to the fact I was force into a dysfunctional family and placed in an environment where I was sure to lose and become another statistic. How can you change fate at the present, how was it possible to detour all the negativity that the adversary threw at me in efforts to defeat me and to stop me from reaching my destiny. I wailed and whined, cried, scream, begged, pleaded, for HELP, someone any one HELP show me what true love is/was show me loyalty from one human to another... Is is possible for another human can forsake their desires and help another human in need. I didn't think there was.
No one stopped by to help a dying soul in need. I wanted to be rescued, I needed a Savior someone to save me from my me and the life I'd currently lived. All the bad choices, my dysfunctional thought process that those I entertained instilled in me. They made me believe no one can/will ever love or even like me. I would always be broken. I roamed the world seeking my place/ my position, at the tender age of 12. The parents/ forfeited their jobs and left me stranded, I had to make a life of my own, I was a kid forced to make adult decisions. I constantly asked is this it, there got's to be more then this, there got to be something that can/will fulfill this big void deep in the core of my soul that drives me and lead me to more hurt and pain. I needed healing, I sought for anything that would subdue the pain, and got tied up in places I shouldn't been.
Help didn't surface for a long time, I was force to deal with my foul reality. Darkness surround me and my heart bore imprints of a broken enslaved soul seeking peace, and love. Pain became my friend, hurt was my norm, I sat and ate with those that feed me rejection, lies, discord, and hate, I carried their bitterness and despair around and made it my own. I reasoned with who I be came and accept the dark cloud that seemed to loom over me, I was branded by a mark left on my body that I would never forget what they did to me, a scar I would wear for life, he sought to break me, he sought to make me think life was so bad, the worse that I made do the job for them he planned to take my mind so I could no longer function and live in freedom.. BUT.... "HE" the Light had other plans for my life He sent this one person in my life to change the course of the life I knew. FOREVER
This person saw the greater me, he removed the filth and shame, he made me see there's more to me and I existed for a reason. He help me to understand my pain was truly a gain. My Angel rescued me when I thought all hope was gone-
He erased the imprints in my mind that tried to define who I would become. He said his purpose what to protect me and stand by me FOREVER as long as I live in this realm he will never let me go. He strength was my gain one of the tools used to enforce change.
It was then I'd finally felt what true love was- a love another human gives unconditional without expecting anything in return. God bless my Angel for saving me... For this I am forever grateful for what you brought into my life. For the person you help me to become.
Now 20 years later, I live I breathe, I walk in freedom of choice, although the two men that lives within me (the spirit & the flesh) is still at war, but this war seem to be different, the war I face now is not as simple as I like it to be, this is a different day and time I have a new found momentum and zest for life in a way I'd never experience before. I'm a star to many, A blessing to some, they run to me and say "Hey, I'm your #1 fan".. He wants to know my name when before I was only a shadow, "Neicy,who?" and "Get away from me , shoot fly don't bother me"like a undiscovered treasure waiting for the right person to find it.. I waited and waited. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered and wooed by all the token of thoughts, and vibes sent this way.. Years later, when I understood the true power that resided in me and was there all the time I questioned over and over again.....
How is this possible I was born a no-body how is it my flesh takes pleasure in the attention of "MAN" the gestures, words, praises, compliments which are so foreign to me, 20+ years ago, I was a slave to the system I was trying to find "ME" trying to "LOVE" me, no one saw me I was only a speck of dust on the ground, today they desire me they want to know me they jock me..... Never haughty, never vain, I pray to never change, but to always be and serve him the same.
How do you make them understand there's more to me then what they see with their naked eyes.
There were a time I was my worst enemy, they look at me and many hate when deep in side they may be able to relate to all the warfare, pain and struggles that surrounded my life and tried to seal my fate, but HE said, WAIT you daughter one day will be so great.I do believe my day is coming as my spirit converse with my cordial mind.... All the time.
My spirit says, wasn't you warned this shouldn't be a shock to you, someone anonymous sent an email with a warning saying this would happen, can't you see? My spirit keeps me grounded, humbled, focused and prayerful, My spirit tell me to seek forgiveness and constantly tell me to never forget HIM and it reminds me how much I need Him in my life. All my mistakes were stepping stones, the people placed in my life connected me to purpose. I'm not perfect, I strive to walk in perfection, my sinful nature tempts me,my thoughts tries to enslave me. I try to do the right thing, but this flesh always bargain with my nature and tries to persuade me and use my weakness to subdue me into committing acts that's contrary to my spirit.
This cycle keeps me before Him seeking Him, His redemption, I write as a way of escape, I speak that I may enlighten and share my test, trials and triumphs. I've experience so much more the one human can possible bare, but God is my source of HELP and My Savior and Deliver in spite of what others think or say. I am a Rider for Him... When you come through many storms as I have and the only help was Him, you must submit and acknowledge the truth and live everyday in effort to honor and obey. You are not accountable for what you don't know... But once you know the game begins....
He's the truth, and my light. Though the evil in the world use deception as a blinding force in effort to paint a fictitious picture of what Man want to believe based off of science, and what ever else they use. I base my faith on a personal intervention, a personal visitation of the Light. I am truly a believer...
This song is my words to the one who stole my heart and I don't want it back. Everything I am today is because of Him there's not greater love in/outside this world besides the LOVE He has given me. He has truly open my eyes when I doubted, when I questioned, when I needed a sign of His presence He was always there leading me and guiding me through all my pain and struggles I endured I now realized this is why I had to go through so much that I may pour into the souls, and hearts of others-- ONE WORD at a TIME...
Human nature is a funny thing, I mean we all want, desire, crave, need a few things in order to feel alive, good, happy, and joyful. One of those thing is "LOVE" we all desire someone to love us, to accept us, to need us, to want us, to appreciate us, to understand us, to help us discover a personal needs we have yet to discover the true missing link.
I do know as females, most of us can't take another woman telling us what to do and how to do it, though we may need a little assistance in changing a few things about us we can't accept her pointing the finger telling us to change this and that we become defensive and start saying well she must be jealous or hating on me, when in reality that far from the truth. Some people are brought into our lives to help us see what we fell to see about the man in the mirror.
When a man steps to the same female she's more opt to hear him out, she's more open to try to work on these things in effort to gain his LOVE and AFFECTION. This isn't the way it's designed to be, however it's the way it is. There are life long lessons we're suppose to learn, and be tested on in hopes we pass the test that comes after. I do admit love is a funny thing it has many facets, and depths it can bring good feelings, and bring understanding, but on the flip side when emotions are out of control and the love isn't reciprocated the opposite can occur.
Whether we're aware of it or not, we live out our purpose daily. People come into our life to add color to us or to expose the dark places, the dark places are hidden deep within the core of us all. We try to hide them, because we don't want to see our self in a dull place, in a unhappy view. There's some aspect of ourselves lost in other people perception of us.
We all seem to care, I believe we care a little to much. We want to belong, we want to live in freedom of thought, actions and still be loved and accepted. It's our duty to understand with each connected formulated we leave a piece of ourselves planted in the hearts of those we connect with. It's like tiny seeds we leave behind. It's not our duty to stay and water them. It's not our duty to ensure the seeds grow, and or harvest. It's our duty to sow the very seed deep inside knowing the person life will change for the better eventually.
There's a catch to this of course, the person must be open to change, the person must be ready for change,
the person must not fight against the resistance, because there will be some resisting, let it happen at first it may not feel good like someone poking you, sticking you, their words, thoughts, and presence will try you and cause you to question your who you are/or who you thought you were. You may even become defensive and deny what's being revealed. Don't fight it, allow the seed to cultivate, allow the seed to take root. You will begin to see some of your actions, behaviors that are not in sync with where you're trying to go in life. Sometimes God sends people into your life to re-shape and help you get to the next phase, your next position in life. In order to get there and understand the lessons presented there you must be able to face who you are at the precise moment your in and realize who you are, who you always been and your level of understanding concerning personal change, spiritual revelation, and the many seasons of ones life.
It's amazing how one word, a deep thought, or spending time in deep conversation, and exchanging vibes can bring fulfillment to a person life.
We all crave unity, companionship, and intimacy. I'm not talking $exual intimacy, I'm talking about a connecting of one's soul to another. Sharing heart felt moments, vibes, thoughts. . What I'm talking about connecting of ones soul, when you connect with the "RIGHT" person for the season your in that person will bring so much into your life you will start to feel alive again. You'd notice before them your life was mundane and less colorful.
You long for another dialect, another lost moment of blissful thoughts, a second more of rising to the highest of all heights, just another smile, giggle, and or vision of what could be possible even for a moment, even if it's wishful thinking. In this moment I feel something I haven't in a long time, in this moment I can smile and know everything is going to be OK, in this moment I dance around the possibility that love finally found me and I am not going to let it go, instead I'm going to embrace all the feelings, the mystery of the connection and live in it. The other party may not have an idea of what you're doing to them until much later. The seed is planted A new chapter begins.
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